Okay, I feel better now.

There is nothing to me. There is nothing though there was a time I had felt elation before all sensation died.I cannot breathe. I can't deny that I've been feigning, for you, every vital sign defied. This means nothing to me. This means nothing so spare me the lies. I deny you sympathy just as I have been denied.I cannot breathe. I can't deny that I've been faking, for you, every sign of life. I died for the last lie, and the heartbreak for the first time, I could not take til I made you cry.This is what you taught me. This is what you taught - and I learned well - to recognize that feeling easily can be dispelled. Show your wounds I'm bored with mine. Nothing is new. Don't despair I rarely cry.Oh my dear please dry your eyes. Who could harm you? To hurt you is to be despised, as I'd love to.

Happy Crash Love Day!!!

09.29.09
Crash Love Day!
Listening to the epic-ness that is the new AFI cd.
<3

Veronica Sawyer Smokes.

Oh my story is not the oldest of it's kind.
I was too touched to see you clearly, far too young to realize I had loved so dearly you, who's world I had designed, but the sweet smoke came with mirrors and it brought tears to my wide eyes.
Dying just to see you...dying since I misconstrued your blue heart, black eyes, feigning falling, words I won't forget.
I died right when I saw you while you shared that cigarette.

Oh I saw you every time I closed my eyes, in the Hughes film I had scored, produced and starred in, in my mind.
I could recite you, well, I'd written every line... but you strayed far from my flawless script on which I'd spent a lifetime!Falling over dead. Dying since I had misread your blue heart, black eyes, feigning falling, words I won't forget. I died right when I saw you while you shared that cigarette.

Too Shy To Scream.

I come quietly. Silent entities can lack a certain weight when unseen.
Do they speak of me? My voice left with the breeze that whispered "you should flee or you shall be seen."

I'd die if you only met my eyes. Before you pass by, will you pause to break my heart.

I am everywhere, everywhere but here, for here is where you grace the nameless.
Were I not so weak, could I even speak I'd warn that you should leave before you're seen with me.

They don't hear me. Do I bore them when I tell them I adore them?

Beautiful Thieves

My dear there is no danger.
Can't you see they turn blind eyes to we swift and spotlight strangers?
Before the rush is over we will be revered again, while the victims still recover.

If we run this light, take a little life, no one will care at all.
We can burn it and leave, for we are the beautiful thieves no one suspects at all.

Are we running toward death? I have met him times before, he adores us like the rest.
Even if we're discovered, just be sure to wear your best. We will surely make the covers.

Who would run for cover? Who would run from us?

Torch Song.

I saw you. Angels came to light your path.
I heard you keep their wings pressed under glass.
Now am I so enthralled that I might die?
I saw you, sweetly smile, and say "do try".

Anything
I'd tear out my eyes for you my dear, anything to see everything that you do.

I saw you so bereft so pale and weak when I looked through you and I declined to speak.

I won't say anything.
I'd tear out my eyes for you my dear, anything to see everything that you do. I'd do anything. I'll tear out my soul for you my dear, oh my dear anything, to feel everything as you do.

Leave me. Leave me to grieve that nothing's lost.
Leave me, but when you leave know nothing's lost

Radio.

I just realized.
I have school on 09.29.09.
That sucks.
Beyond belief.
...

Screamo.

People are so obnoxious.
Sometimes I just want to scream.

Before the Sun Goes Down.

Before the world spins around.
Before a new day's found.
I must forgive.

Better is one day.

Better is one day in your courts.
Better is one day in your house.
Better is one day in your courts, than thousands elsewhere.


My heart and flesh cry out.
For you the living God.
Your spirit's water for my soul.
I've tasted and I've seen.
Come once again to me.
I will draw near to you.

Better is one day in the house of my God, than a thousand anywhere else.

Everything.

Take me deeper now.
I have no time.

Broken.

Yeah. I messed up again.

Under My Skin.

Don't Let Go.
Never.
Ever.
Hold On.
You WILL Make it Through This Time.

Count 'em.

One.
Two.
Three.

My biggest fear.

Public speaking.
I'm Bekyy, with TWO "y"s, and there are 70 days till my birthday.

I love him.

He is my best friend, whether or not I am his.
I love ya little bro ♥

I'll stand by you.

Even in my darkest hour.
I'll never desert you.
I'll stand by you.

Forever and always.

Just once.
I want someone who, I can truly say, will be in my life forever and always.
I'm sick of ruining good things out of fear.
I want someone who I know will never leave me.
Yes, I have God.
But I want to know, that no matter what, my best friends will always be here.
I don't want to lose them.

Rock the Universe.

I can't wait for PureNRG.

Fear.

Fear of love.
Commitment.
Rollercoasters.
Yourself.
Fear hold you back in a lot of things.
Don't let fear control you life.

I can't wait.

I've got Hilary Duff stuck in my head.
AFI has two awesome Florida shows coming up.
And PureNRG on Sunday.
Life's good.

Carbon.

I contribute 9.1 tons of carbon emissions per year.
The average U.S. total is 27 tons per year.
The average for the world is 5.5 tons.
Woah.

This Time Imperfect.

Some things you can wish away.
Some things you can't.
Some things you can pray away.
Some things you can't.
Some things require strength.
Other require will.
Some things will never change.

When I'm famous.

I won't be poor.
Then maybe I can support this family.
Yes, the family I can't stand will be completely taken care of.
And if something unexpected happens, it's ok, because I can take care of it.
Finally I will be in control.
No more pain from something I can't control.

He could be the one.

I can hardly breathe, something's been telling me maybe he coud be the one.

Baby come back.

Mah-mah-mah-mah-mah-mah-mah.
Yes yes.

Pray.

1Corinthians 10:13

You don't always get what you want.

Sometimes you get exactly what you want.
Sometimes exactly what you want, become exactly what you never wanted.

Boys are bad news.

It's pretty funny how much drama boys cause. I'll admit it, I'm completely happy without a guy. It's nice and drama free.


p.s. boys are bad news.

Life is Beautiful.

Would you swear on your life that no one would cry at your funeral?
Just open your eyes, and see that life is beautiful.

Watch. This. Now.


No matter what you think. There is always someone out there who loves you. When you hurt, they hurt. When you're happy, they're happy. Trust me. Everyone has someone.
You are loved. If not by family, by your Salvation.

Beloved.